Loonstate Cyclists

It was two day’s before Christmas
A ride we thought best
We’d leave from 318
The stone arch carried the rest

I left Excelsior alone
The Red Lantern had bailed
He had other plans
It was last minute shopping he hailed

Excelsior was ok
Shorewood began to suck
In Minnetonka I thought of cross Nat’s
as I slid on the frozen muck

From there to Hopkins
the riding was a delight
With wind at my back
I was alright

Then from afar
Did I drink too much beer
I saw Santa riding towards me
And three tiny reindeer

My eye’s had fooled me
There wasn’t a sleigh
Santa was Choo Choo
With Homme, Skibby, and Jordo leading the way

We missed Patrick somehow
He met us at Dunn
It was great to see the youngster
He’s always fun

Skibby almost stayed upright
That guy is so nice
He went down four times
He’s like a cow on ice

Homme road single speed
Even in this weather
He even has studs
That guy is clever

Cullen rode the front
Just like in France
I beat him up Alp d’ huez
He didn’t have a chance

At Dunn we met Lunatic Biker
He also rode in
He drank a chi latte
And finished with a grin

I left Dunn solo
The others packed up
Back to Excelsior
I hopped this wouldn’t suck

I had gone three blocks
Now I lay on the ground
Frozen puke behind Target Center
Had thrown my bike down

Back up and riding
I thought I was dead
Visions of sugar plumbs
Danced in my head

The greenway was hard
The winds were hauling
Would Jim come get me
If I started balling

I road on
More snow fell now
Visibility 10 feet
I wondered how

Made it to Hopkins
Man that was tough
Snow depth building
It’s really getting rough

Minnetonka was worse
I couldn’t believe my eye’s
The drifts were 3 feet high
And equally as wide

Into Excelsior
I thought epic indeed
Phoned up Skibby
And he agreed

Called Cullen too
He called me stupid
Interesting I thought
He and his bike shot by cupid

I walked in the door
It was my toddler I did see
He gave me a big hug
And had cookies for me